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Michael Pollick

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Michael Pollick is the chief archivist of America’s most preventable childhood memories, a man who has stared directly into the abyss of Midwestern–Southern family rituals and said, “Yeah, I can make this funnier.” As the creator of the Collateral Damage Report — a free channel bravely documenting the nation’s most beloved poor decisions — he has dedicated his career to preserving the exact moments that shaped us, scarred us, or sent us to the ER for “observation.” Raised in the era of lawn darts, unlicensed snack mascots, and gym teachers who believed fear was a teaching strategy, Michael writes with the authority of someone who has personally survived every essay he publishes. His work blends mythic Americana, sepia-toned nostalgia, and the kind of humor that makes readers say, “Oh no… I remember that,” before quietly reevaluating their entire upbringing. His essays have covered everything from the existential dread of the snack aisle to the spiritual journey of middle‑school P.E., to the unspoken social contract of church potlucks, to the heroic delusions of every dad who ever owned a riding mower. Each piece is lovingly illustrated in the style of a church newsletter that’s been photocopied since the Carter administration — because if you’re going to revisit childhood trauma, you might as well do it in two columns with a tasteful footer.

June 5, 2026

Hello Everyone, You have a newbie here.

Hi everyone else at Written!

My name is Michael Pollick, and I've just started uploading titles here. I was in what we called "Po-Biz" for many years, and I also wrote thousands of nonfiction articles for WiseGEEK, BestReviews, Advon Commerce, and Wealth of Geeks. I've recently started converting my poems into music through Suno, and you can find my collection at https://suno.com/@michaelpollick82.

I was born and raised near Akron, Ohio during the 60s, 70s and 80s, and many of my humor essays are based on real-life experiences. I have lived in the Deep South since 1986. I am married to a fellow writer named Amy, and we have three cat children named Big Mac, Ezekiel, and Pippin. None of them are passwords, by the way.

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Michael Pollick

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